3 Ideas on Where to Start
The good news is that it has nothing to do with spending money or investing the time you don’t have. At its core wellness is about engaging in a dialogue with ourselves and practising self-acceptance.
1. I Should Versus I Want To
Be honest with yourself. Do you think you should, or do you want to?
Do you feel like you should be transforming your life, or do you want to? Seriously ask yourself this question. There are so many things we SHOULD be doing, but we don’t because we don’t want to, or we aren’t ready. We all have our reasons and that is okay! We can say: I want to BUT… I don’t have the time, the money, space, etc.
When we use the word ‘but’ it means that we think we SHOULD, and not that we WANT to.
Ask yourself: why? but don’t judge your answers just not them!
If we become aware of the distinction between the two then it is not a bad thing because, between the should and the want, is the EXCUSE. and Excuses aren’t all bad if you can make friends with them…
2. Make Friends with Your Excuses
Identify your excuses and start a self-dialog.
Despite what many of the “inspirational quotes” would have you believe: we do not need to feel guilt or shame, or try to conquer our excuses. If we judge ourselves for our excuses or suppress them, then we can not learn from them!
To make friends with your excuses, you have to be brutally honest with yourself.
Ask yourself: is wellness something I really want to tackle right now? and if the answer is no… that’s okay! Again, just ask yourself: why?
Writing down your list of excuses can be extremely helpful, and make it specific! For example, if you want to start to eat healthily, or take up yoga, or meditate, or all three. Make a list of excuses specific to each of those things.
Make your list a living thing, keep coming back to it and changing it.
Our lives are always in flux so something that is true today might not be true tomorrow, or a week from now. Note the changes! It could be that on sunny days you are more likely to make fewer excuses than you do on cloudy days, that information is worth noting!
Try not to judge yourself, some excuses are more stubborn than others and the exercise is not to control or change what you notice but to become aware of those things.
3. Thinking Versus Feeling
Making lists is a great way to engage your thinking mind, but what about the part of you that reacts to that list? Taking note of your feelings is just as important as keeping track of your thoughts.
Self-transformation can bring up a lot of uncomfortable emotions, many of which we didn’t even know we had. Sometimes we might feel self-loathing or discouraged, and other times we feel joyous and grateful.
These feelings are messages from us to us.
Often when we experience uncomfortable feelings we try to ignore or dismiss them, but they will not go away until we have received the message, and they will keep resurfacing until we give them our attention.
Another way to address the importance of our thoughts versus our feelings brings us back to the question: Where do I start?
We can know, intellectually, that healing ourselves begins when we nurture all three aspects of our being at once and treat ourselves with love, patience, and kindness, but first, we also need to know what it feels like!
In that way, thinking helps guide us to the feeling of wanting to.
I said no rules, so let’s call this a summary or a list of things to keep in mind. Wellness is a deeply personal discovery so take only the advice that feels true to you!
- The number one goal is to Find Yourself
- No one is perfect, ever.
- Change your relationship with yourself and your thoughts
- Forgive yourself
- Use your excuses and mistakes to strengthen your self- awareness
- Listen to your feelings and emotions
- Accept that you will not always be able to do these things
- Try not to control what you observe, and if you do, take note
- When you find that your “I should” genuinely becomes “I want” that means you are ready to start again!