I have not touched on the subject of romantic love much at all so far. Naturally, the best way to start that discussion is by talking about break-ups. I have had several short-lived relationships and even though there was not always a lot of time invested in them I still felt the effects when they ended. I’ll take you through 4 Kinds of break-up songs (with one sub-type)
1. Sad Breakups
I felt the disappointment, disillusionment, self-doubt, mourning, longing, and yes, sometimes even self-loathing. I would turn on my music and listen to sad songs about love lost. Anything with piano and a sad soft voice was preferable. For awhile, a dark time indeed, my go-to break-up song was 9 Crimes by Damien Rice.
Angry Breakup with Possessive Features
You know when you feel like you are just too exhausted with someone and they are clearly not right for you? and when it finally ends for good, that feeling of relief? You feel like you could not have survived another second of their smothering, manipulating or controlling behaviour. Yet they don’t seem a have a problem with it and it is their persistence that has kept it going on-and-on until you’re a puddle of frustration and confusion, lying on your floor, begging for something or someone to release you. The Relief! breakup is the one where you are DONE. DONE. DONE. For those breakups, there is Taylor Swift’s We Are Never Ever Getting Back Together. I felt so much relief in hearing myself repeat “we are never getting back together”, it feels like freedom!
This has less to do with the other person and more to do with how I treat myself. The theme song of the empowered break up has to be Sia’s Elastic Heart. Why this song? The lyrics are about being truly honest with yourself, with asking questions and keeping with your inner strength, and not giving in to feeling defeated.
I chose pop songs for this list, but I ould easily adapt it to most genres of music. I am sure I also have a Metal, Rock, Indie, Folk and Rap/Hip-Hop lists specific enough to fill out these categories, but I would like to hear from you!
What songs do you play when you are going through a break-up?