This morning I was struck by the realization that while the internet can be a volatile and scary place, there are some people who have discovered safe little corners where they can connect with others and feel safe enough to share their lives and their stories.
I find sharing online tremendously difficult and often feel embarrassed by it, so to see posts from people courageously pouring their hearts out is really very touching to me.
Bloggers who write bout loss, grief, trauma, etcetera, tell their stories, and their writings are met with audience appreciation, and compassion.
I was especially moved by the last post I shared, a piece written on Ebben Wilde called What it Was Like and another post I read this morning on This Tiny Blue House called Guts over Fear: Confession of a Loss Mom
I wasn’t just moved by the pieces themselves but by the response to them. There are others who have had those experiences and who feel like they cannot express themselves to the people in the communities around them.
Thinking of the many people who are not reading these posts and not sharing their stories, who feel alone and isolated, I cannot help but wonder:
How can we feel safe sharing in our everyday context not feel like we are hiding, or inconveniencing others with our pains and our mistakes?
While it is beautiful and heartwarming to see connection and empathy online, I worry that the scars can not fully heal without moving beyond the shame of sharing (or not sharing) our stories with those around us.
Not-sharing, but being okay with not sharing is also a part of the healing process. I worry that we isolate ourselves too much, and are too scared of human connection to get beyond the things that have wounded us.
Maybe the pain of curing your pain is the fear that someone will look at us differently, or not love us. But if we don’t share, if we don’t find that one person who will listen to our story and understand, then the painful things we have been through and our mistakes will come out in other ways.
I have many stories of people surprising me, and I am wondering if anyone else has those stories?
Moments of connection where you faced your fear and allowed the person standing in front of you to show themselves.
Not everyone is worth sharing with, I cannot deny that, but perhaps those are the wrong people to be giving our vulnerability to.
As long as we don’t leave it as: I get acceptance online and I don’t need it anywhere else. because I think being able to share selectively is only one part of the process.
Self-Acceptance means that you can accept who you are regardless of what others might think of you and understanding that the people who make you feel ashamed are not the right people and your heart nd your focus should be on those who help you to feel like you re human, and we all have tragic stories.
I believe there is at least one person out there who is willing to really hear you and understand you, but if you don’t give them the opportunity then how can they show you?