Invictus Maneo: Strength and Belonging

Invictus is Latin word that means unconquerable, undefeated, or unvanquished.
Maneo is the Latin word for I stay, I remain, I last or I endure.
These two words make up my family motto, and, in turn, have given me strength. I stay unconquerable; I endure undefeated; I remain unvanquished.

The Scottish tradition (where my surname comes from) of having family crests and mottos gives me the feeling of belonging to something greater than myself.
Belonging strengthens my belief that no matter how difficult life is, I can and will endure.
A clan is a group of people united by actual or perceived blood kinship. In other words, a tribe or an extended family. The name unifies people and gives a unified purpose. The collective, in its most ideal form, is a group of people who look out for each other’s interests.

“During times of suffering the shelter of belonging calms us”

John O’Donohue

I Diagnose Myself a ScapegoatĀ 

What is a Scapegoat?

To put it plainly: a person blamed for the wrongdoings, mistakes, or faults of others. What does that mean exactly?

It means that if you are someone’s scapegoat, you are going to be the reason someone else did or said something, or the reason something happened, or more broadly YOU are the problem.

The scapegoat is given a tremendous amount of power, but ends up feeling weak, shameful, pitiable, guilty, or that they are evil, bad, or wrong. In come cases, wrongness becomes inseparable from the way they see themselves: they can mistake what others say for their true identities.

In families, the scapegoat tends to be the person the family collectively identifies as a source of their dysfunctional behavior. The idea being that if the person to blame for familial disruption is somehow fixed, then the family will be fixed.