It is said that diamonds are made under extreme pressure.

Me = diamond.

Last year, I decided I would give up my home, my community, my comfort zone, and trust that wherever I went and whatever came next was exactly what I needed.

I am now in a place that feels very tight, I have had every last part of what I deem comfortable, squeezed out of me and the sickness I spent my life trying to relieve has returned.

I am experiencing depression.

I get out of bed, I do what I can, I make some kind of life work, but I am sad and feel very alone. Something tells me I am getting exactly what I asked for. 

The bills are mounting, the list of things left undone is multiplying, and at best it feels like the outside world is standing on my chest.

I am experiencing anxiety.

All that is left is for me to fight.

I will not accept the hopelessness.

I will not accept defeat.

I will not turn back.

Always,

E.